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So, after agonizing over that midterm and feeling that after two classes in ed leadership, I still don't understand what the professional standards mean by "Vision".... I got 100%. My husband was like, 'Aren't you happy?' In fact, I kind of wasn't (over it now). I feel like it was a big joke. That's how I felt about K-12 and my undergrad work, but my first M.S. was better. More practical and applicable. Oh well. I guess I have a gift for bullshit, which, my friend pointed out, is good for an administrator anyway.

Anyway, I caught up on some work last week but have some things coming due this week. Still annoyed by everyone I work with. My back has been really bothering me again. I called my chiropractor and asked if they'd work me in (they always do, even if you just show up at the office unannounced) and when she asked me how I was, I kind of had a hissy fit. I started going to her because I hurt my back, and it was really bad. Like, crawling on hands and knees because I couldn't walk bad. Then it was great, and I never had any trouble. But ever since I was pregnant last summer and then had the miscarriage, it's always hurting. Now, I don't have any idea of what that should be but I am TIRED OF IT. Which is basically what I stomped my feet and told her and she was very nice. I went several times last week and she says if we are more aggressive we should be able to get it under control. I hope to god that's true. I am worried that something bizarre and female-related is actually wrong with me, which isn't usually something I do.

I had a nice weekend. My husband's friend and I hatched a secret plan related to his birthday gift. PPJ spent the night at Grandma's and we had dinner when we picked her up. I was a bad person and bought a new town for TS3 so I played that some. Related to spending money, I got a (somewhat cheesy) but so far very good book about people who spend too much money and get into too much debt. PPJ and I just spent a lot of quality time doing Highlights Puzzle Books and listening to her classical playlist on Spotify. She actually fell asleep next to me, so I should probably try to go to sleep too.

We may be getting snow tonight, and even though it's only delaying the inevitable, I am crossing my fingers for another day off tomorrow. I have been called in to a school to do a consult this week and it's a political minefield and I don't want to deal with it. Okay, I am yawning so big my eyes are watering so I am signing off...
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I let myself get behind on my coursework, and with lots to do at work I have been running like a rat in a wheel all last week and this week so far.
I start rambling forever so I'm going to cut this.

Read more... )
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So, I stayed home with PPJ on Friday because she had been sick and thrown up on Thursday. Then I had today off, so it's been a quite a long weekend. Some of it was really good: playing in the snow with PPJ, playing lots of games with PPJ, watching Interstella 5555 with my husband and sister, watching lots of shows (Castle, Dr Who, Alcatraz).
On the bad side, the text I got from my co-worker really ruined my Friday night. Also, on Saturday I was still feeling kind of bad about the whole thing and kept getting into stupid fights with my husband about things that I knew I should just shut up about.
Anyway, I've spent all day evening on a stupid assignment about school law. Now I'm going to finish watching this episode of Castle while drinking a glass of wine and go to sleep.
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It might not be the best thing for you to cold text your co-worker who had a miscarriage an ultrasound picture to announce that you are pregnant. Just sayin'.
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I took a personal day today to try to relax and I was mildly successful. I went out and had coffee, ate sushi, and read a romance novel. I really can't shake the kind of bad mood I've been in lately though. I want to be able to tell myself to get over it and have it work, but it just doesn't. I am used to being really hardcore and just not letting things bother me, so it's even more annoying than just being in a crap frame of mind because I have the idea that I shouldn't ever be in one anyway. Which probably isn't emotionally healthy, but that's not anything I've ever claimed to be.

Yesterday I did finish a bunch of assignments so I am caught up in one class and ahead in the other. I also got some computer speakers for my laptop, so now I can listen to music without headphones (My laptop is so cheap that music sounds like it's coming out of a tincan through a time machine if you use the speakers.) I haven been enjoying making Spotify playlists for some of my old friends; I used to spend all my time and money in high school making people mixed tapes. Nostalgia!

There was something else I was going to mention, but whatever it is I am majorly spacing it and have been staring at the screen for quite awhile trying to think of it... giving up now. I will probably lay down and remember it as I fall asleep.
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A friend of mine on facebook posted a link to a news article, because he was incensed at its stupidity. One of his friends used the word "retarded" in his comment on it. I always tell people who use that word to choose another. People don't usually mean to be malicious in using it, but it's an extremely hurtful word, and despite any argument I've heard, I don't think there's any valid reason to continue to use it once this has been pointed out, unless you're just an asshole.

However, when I asked this person to choose another word, he WENT OFF. Just totally typical, stupid, internet crap where his thoughts weren't even really sensible in any way, just accusations about me personally, PC speech censoring him, whatever. I responded in a thoughtful, reasoned way several times, but when he ended his last comment with "That shit [my earlier comment] is just retarded." I had to unfollow the post.

I know it's stupid, but I'm really angry. I'm angry because one, I let some douchebag on the internet hurt my feelings and get me riled up. That's bad enough. But what I am also angry at is that there's tons of other assholes like him; they probably outnumber people like me who give a shit quite badly. He's so puffed up with his specious arguments about appeals to authority that he doesn't care that there are real people out there with disabilities, people being devalued, dehumanized, people never realizing their potential because they are, after all, just "retards". You know, like my kid? The one with the significant developmental disability?

Well, fuck him. This is what I unfollowed with, and I really meant it: I can only sincerely hope that what goes around comes around, and the world affords him the same compassion and kindness that he give to others. Which is a really nice way of saying I hope the universe fucks him up the ass with no lube. A lot. Hey, I'm no angel.
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It's really cold here, and the low tonight is supposed to be 13 degrees, windchill even worse. Glad I don't have to go anywhere tonight. I did run out to the grocery store a little while ago and that was bad enough.

Other than that, running to the library, and changing my bed spread because I'm 95% sure my cat peed on it, I have just been hanging out in the bed with PPJ all day. What have I been doing? I signed up for the free month of Spotify earlier this week so I have been listening to lots of music that I've been too lazy/poor to add to my collection. I think I may have trouble cancelling at the end of the membership. I tried to play a hidden object game I started awhile ago, but it's not really that great, so now I'm feeling stuck because starting a new game without finishing it would make me feel anxious, but I don't actually want to play it. I watched the most recent episode of Hoarders online. I also read this frightening article about how people have parasites in their brains.

Anyway, now I can't decide what's next on my list. Definitely not housework or homework, I refuse to do any of that today. I think I need to eat something else because I have a headache. Too much coffee? Too little? Who knows. I might watch this week's Alcatraz. I also have a bunch of other crap on my hulu queue. Speaking of which, I have some House on there and was sad to hear that this will be the last season. I though that it was actually picking back up and I was enjoying it again. Oh well.

My sister bathed PPJ and now she is running circuits around the king size bed in her fresh PJ's. It's cute but also really annoying. Which kind of applies to her in a global sense too.
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Financial aid looks to be resolved. The aid will cover tuition and I will still get a little bit back. However, I am also now obsessing over the fact that I completely spaced a homework assignment. I tried to turn it in late, but the professor had closed the electronic dropbox. I emailed him to ask about it, and he hasn't answered. Realistically, I know that it's probably the least of his worries, but due to my anxiety I am completely convinced he hates me now and thinks I'm an idiot and I should just drop the class, and why am I doing this anyway?

Yeah, I am pretty emo this week... I think it's partially hormonal. I also guest lectured today which always jacks my anxiety up. Plus, I have a potentially unpleasant situation brewing with a bizarre parent at work. Anyway, even if he doesn't accept the assignments, I can still pass. And I can buy some food now that my refund will cover the $ I spent on expensive textbooks. So I should cheer up.

Speaking of cheer, here's some words of wisdom I got from a kindergartener today: "Did you know you can't wrestle in a bar?"

You heard it here first, folks.

Stressssss.

Feb. 6th, 2012 11:31 pm
themadmermaid: (Default)
I had a lot of social obligations over the past weekend, so I was already fried before I even walked into work this morning, on a few hours of sleep. Then, in trying to discover why I hadn't gotten a financial aid refund from school, I found that what they told me they would give me is incorrect--- it was based on "full time" status, despite the fact that I have never, at any time in the course of getting one and now another master's degree, been a full time graduate student. So now I am just hoping they will still give me enough to cover tuition, but I had been looking forward to getting a refund too, so that sucked.

Nice evening just hanging out with PPJ. I think I am turning into my dad though. He used to sit around and drink beer and listen to old music when I was little. Which is pretty much what I do now. Ouch.

Hmmn.

Feb. 2nd, 2012 10:18 pm
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Today was okay, except I left my cell phone at home and weird anxiety until I stopped by on my way to a meeting somewhere else and got it. I also kept feeling like it was Friday and feeling sad when I realized it was, in fact, not.

So, I went over to a friend's house the other night. (Did I already post that? Not sure.) Anyway, we debating on keeping it a secret from another co-worker/friend who is being weird and controlling. I decided that I'm not a fifth grade girl, so I mentioned casually to her today, like I would with anyone, that I'd been over. Her response? She got this weird expressionless look that means she's mad, and she said, "Well, if I had known I would have come too." :/ Seriously? I guess you don't need to be, you know, invited anymore?

I have a feeling it's gonna get ugly at some point, because that's the type of thing that I generally just say because I don't give a fuck. But I've been avoiding just saying anything like that because I think this person is really stressed out and might just fall apart and I hate drama which is the reason that I usually just call people on their bullshit before it can start. Sigh.

I watched this week's episode of Alcatraz, Cal Sweeney. Read more... )

Bad Day

Feb. 1st, 2012 04:20 pm
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Ok, fate read my last entry because today sucked. My coffee maker failed, I had to run around between 3 towns and 2 meetings before 9:30AM, coffee shop failed my order and it exploded on me, got a huge headache from all this, back to another town/school and then went on a home visit to Sketch City where the dirty apartment and dog pushed me over the edge into sick headache nausea. I actually picked PPJ up from school a little early and came straight home and showered because I thought I was going to vomit. Now I am just laying in bed waiting for the Excedrin to kick in. Ugh!

Good day

Jan. 31st, 2012 10:50 pm
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Today was a pleasant little day. Got some stuff done at work, took PPJ to speech, and then spent a nice evening at a friend from work's house. I haven't seen her much because we don't work directly together this year, and I had been concerned because she recently separated from her husband. She is doing well though, and her kids did well with PPJ's weirdness, which include copious tears on arrival to a new location.

Once we finally got home I haven't accomplished anything except some chatting and listening to Spotify, but I guess an evening of leisure is OK every once in a while.

Today

Jan. 31st, 2012 12:03 am
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A friend of mine is trying to draw me into some work-related drama, and it's making me emotionally drained and also think a lot less of her. Otherwise, a pretty unremarkable day; did a lot of paperwork and spent a lot of time getting my sister to and from university (she doesn't drive). I managed to get two assignments that were due today scraped together, and wasted way too much time playing Hidden Chronicle on facebook and listening to Barry Adamson's new album.

Speaking of sisters, here's an odd story. Last week, my other sister had a day off from work and flowers were delivered for her boyfriend, who lives with her. She called him to ask if he knew what they were, and he had no idea, so he told her to open the card. The card simply read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY. LOVE" and then had his name and cell number, only one digit was wrong. He called the florist to ask about it, and they told him it was an order that had been placed online and then just sent to them as a local business to fulfill it, so they had no info. He called a guy whom he went to college with that has the same name, thinking that it might be for him, as that type of thing happens frequently, especially because their last name isn't that common, but it wasn't his birthday either (I should point out my sister's boyfriend's birthday is in Oct). So we wrote it off as a weird footnote until today...

When he found out someone had been using his credit card fraudulently, including charging him for the flowers randomly sent to him! I think that's a little crazy. I've had some fraudulent charges before, but the effort to go out of your way and do something just to screw with the other person that gets you no money seems kind of disturbing to me. They also apparently opened like five Netflix accounts. Bizarre!

And to end, I'm going to end with this youtube link because I sent it to [personal profile] rosehiptea yesterday and now I can't get the jingle from it out of my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTVj5lIkxp4
themadmermaid: (Default)
So, PPJ stayed home sick Friday, and by the time I got home from work, very late, I didn't feel too good either. Yesterday, I had committed to going to an all day, 9 to 5 workshop about 45 minutes away, so I took a bunch of cold and allergy medicine and hauled myself there. Then last night, I pretty much went to sleep. I woke up feeling some better today, but haven't accomplished much. I have several things I need to get on as far as classwork, and also my house is a wreck.

I did watch the third episode of Alcatraz. Cutting for spoilers.

Read more... )
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I had an extremely long day at work which was filled with the worst of both worlds: students AND adults acting stupid. Oh, well. Then, I didn't realize that I had online class again tonight, so I was bummed out. We can skip two, but I didn't want to start doing that so early, in case later there's more legitimate reasons I need to not attend. Once that was done, I also had to give my sister a ride home. She is a college student and lives with me, but she doesn't drive. Anyway, I am pretty fried and keep thinking about how I have a lot to do tomorrow, and then I also have a workshop all day Saturday. I just shouldn't worry about it because it doesn't help, but you know how it is; it's easier to tell yourself that then it is to do it. I think I am just going to get my trusty bag of brussels sprouts and lay down and watch Golden Girls.

Speaking of which, brussels sprouts is really hard for me to spell. Is that even right?
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So, I intended to watch the third episode of Alcatraz after my online class yesterday. However, my daughter really wanted to use the laptop, which left me with the ipad. I was planning to watch hulu, but unless you have a paid account, it doesn't work on the ipad. So, I ended up watching Dr Who.


Anyway, I basically watched the first two episodes from Matt Smith's new doctor on a whim the other night. From the search on the Netflix app, I didn't see anything that I thought was the special where David Tennant signed off... anyway, I loved Dr Who but got burnt out. Since my sister was mostly the person who would get the episodes and then we would watch them, and she didn't want a new Doctor, I'd just never picked it back up. So, after seeing two episodes of Matt Smith, I was feeling good about it again. And I decided to sleuth and see if the special was indeed on Netflix. Which it was, and I watched it, and I'm glad I did it out of order because that thing was such a jumbled emo mess of hot whatever that I would have probably never watched the next series after it. What the hell, did Tennant forget he was playing Who and thought he was still Hamlet?

If I'm just watching stuff from 2009/2010, maybe other people are too so I'll cut this. Also it's a total rant that borders on stream of consciousness. )

I thought I'd get to Alcatraz tonight, but after dinner, online class, a phone call, and three items of homework for my daughter, I'm exhausted and my back hurts again. I had been good about icing it some, but since I felt relatively well today I didn't do it so now it hurts again and I hobbling around. Well, currently I am laying in bed with a bag of brussell sprouts from the freezer that have been there so long nobody will eat them on my back. Going to give up and go to bed!
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Spent almost three hours at the dentist this morning getting a temporary crown. It didn't really hurt, but my jaw isn't happy about having my mouth open so much. That kind of threw my whole day off, since I hate changes in routine and also drank no coffee.

Almost everyone I work with is getting on my nerves, which leads me to believe that I must have a poor attitude or something, since the chances of that seem higher than the chances that everyone else became an ass at the same time. Also, I had a fifth grader tell me today that I'm pretty emo. Ouch.

I started watching Series Six of Doctor Who yesterday. I like it, but for some reason I find new Who depressing (maybe that's why I'm emo?). I don't think I've ever like, teared up over the Third Doctor. I think, to a certain extent, it's not really entirely me, because emo drama is kind of how New Who rolls, but I don't want to be sad thinking about a show. That defeats the purpose of leisure time to me.

Otherwise, nothing much of interest has happened lately. Well, that's a lie; I've been having back problems that suck, but appear to be resolving. The other thing is that I got my advance download of Barry Adamson's new album, I Will Set You Free. So far I like it. It feels kind of 90's to me in a weird way that I can't explain. I don't think I will love it as a whole album-entity the way I love Back to the Cat, although my favorite single Adamson songs are not on that album.

And I can guarantee that nobody will really care, because I have never met in 16 years anyone who like Barry Adamson. (sad face)
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So, I took my daughter to a new doctor today for her 7 year old physical. She, having autism, is not a fan of the medical field in general. She's had the same pediatricians her whole life because she is never sick and I was lazy... so even though they sucked I never changed.

However, she had strep at Christmas so I had to take her in. I even took my sister with me to give me a reality check on how bad the office really was. I realize that my (currently unmedicated and pretty OK) anxiety sometimes causes stupid stuff, like maintenence men, doctors of any kind, and phone calls to seem a lot worse than they were. However, she said they sucked too.

Anyway, this new doctor was fantastic. He was recommended by the parent of a former student. He knew things to do to put PPJ at ease, he was personable, interested in her, and just very nice. So at least something good happened this week. He does want her to have a vision assessment because one of her eyes appears to not be tracking in sync with the other... I don't know what she'd think about glasses, if those are necessary.

So, work was a disaster, just because of non-police drama. I don't know why I want to be an administrator sometimes. However, now I have a whole evening to myself because PPJ is at Grandma's, my sister is sick and asleep and my husband is at work. What to do? I can't decide if I want to play video games or watch tv.

But before I go, I think this article is true:
http://news.yahoo.com/feeling-sad-facebook-could-cause-180318638--abc-news.html
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I'm totally not going to talk about work and talk about the opening of Alcatraz instead. I'm gonna cut just in case someone don't wanna be spoiled.

Read more... )
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I just spent too much time going through the tons of clothes I own. None of them fit, and I wear the same five things over and over, so what's the point?
I also own about 1,000 socks. However, they are all fantastic. How can you get rid of a pair of socks with bananas and monkeys? Lobsters? Giraffes? Conversation hearts? Sigh.

Anyway, while I did this, I managed to steal Netflix away from my daughter long enough to watch the first episode of Sherlock. I *think* I like it? Not 100% sure yet. It kind of just made me want to watch The Mentalist. I started the second episode but then the ipad was snatched from my grip so that PPJ can watch the same episode of Wonder Pets over and over.

So now I will console myself with the latest episode of Castle on hulu.

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